Jake’s abrupt departure had left her alone with her thoughts. Hannah had never imagined that when she arrived at his home to spend time with him things would go so completely downhill. She went from hope to a complete and utter despair in a matter of moments. That had not been how things were supposed to end. She didn’t try and stop him from leaving though. She knew she’d eventually have to return to his house. Her car was still parked there. At the moment, she couldn’t bring herself to move much less to think about returning there and possibly have to face him again. Jake didn’t want to see her and she didn’t want to see him. It was all a little much. She picked up her phone debating texting Bianca, Eli or even Liam to come get her but she left the message unsent, pocketing. She didn’t want to disrupt their lives. Bianca was probably off somewhere with Drew or resting. She didn’t need the added stress of this and she wasn’t ready to hear how she’d been right. Then there was Eli who she hadn’t spoken to in days. He had his own things that he was sorting through and she didn’t want to burden him. Liam. Liam would likely murder Jake for making her cry and she didn’t want to responsible for that. The fact was that she wasn’t sure that she really even wanted to go anywhere or be near anyone. She pushed herself up from the swings, moving toward nowhere in particular. Even though it felt like time had stopped it was still moving. She needed to move. Where was there to go anymore though? It all seemed so pointless and trivial. Why should she bother to go anywhere if she was just doomed to end up there alone? That’s all life was. It was a series of disappointments leading to an inevitable moment where she was going to be alone.
The worst part was that she saw what everyone said. They didn’t even pretend to care about her feelings or how she might feel. Their words haunted her, made her sick to her stomach. She wanted to hurl and she wasn’t sure if it was the things that she knew they were saying or would say or if it was the fact she was completely cried out. She wasn’t good enough for any of them. She was never going to be good enough either. Their expectation was that she was this smart girl who was supposed to her math books and school. She was never meant to mean anything more to anyone. They all knew how worthless she was and now Jake knew it too. That was why they were so adamant that he pursue Saint Clare Edwards. It was revolting really. Hannah resented the fact everyone saw her as so perfect. She didn’t understand why everyone was in love with her or the fact Jake acted like she was an allergy but Clare was was a cure. She resented him for ever coming back to Toronto or giving her the time of day. She resented him stopping her from running away. It paled in comparison to how much she absolutely hated Clare. She couldn’t hate him though. Not even now. Not even as her heart was completely shattering and she felt like she couldn’t go on.
She let out another sob, losing her ability to control it anymore. She was staggering a bit to try and keep herself moving. Jake. Jake. Her heart was completely and irreparably broken. His words kept replaying in her head and the look on his face when she’d brought up how she wasn’t his mother filled her head. She hadn’t meant it the way he’d taken it. He always took the things she said the wrong way. He always took her actions the wrong way. She didn’t understand why he couldn’t stop and listen. Why did he have to hate her so much? Why did he have to abandon her like this? Why had he led her on for so long and let her dream of a happy ending if this was how it was going to end? His stupid smile and the feel of his lips was forever stuck in her mind. She kept playing it back in her head and she just couldn’t see how something that had started with so much potential could go so wrong. The only conclusion she could find was that she was defection. She wasn’t pretty enough. She wasn’t good enough. The fact she wasn’t good enough was a fact she kept telling herself in her head. She wasn’t. She was never going to be. She didn’t want to face her peers ever again but she knew she couldn’t face him again. It couldn’t happen if it meant watching him prance around the hall doing all the things she’d wanted to do with him with some other girl.
She heard people in the distance but she didn’t care to look up. She didn’t want to see anyone. She didn’t care if people saw her, mascara running down her cheeks and looking like complete shit. Her flaming red curls was everywhere. Her chaotic thoughts were disrupted by someone grabbing at her purse roughly, shoving her hard toward the cement walkway. Her blood shot eyes opened, returning to reality long enough to look around her and to push back. She was surrounded and she didn’t know where she was. She didn’t know the faces. They were older by maybe a few years. She had nothing else to lose and she didn’t want to give up what little she did have, kicking hard at her assailant. He grimaced and yelled as she made impact. The others moved in as she started to bolt. She tripped on her own feet and met the ground hard, crying as she was jerked back up by her red hair.
“What sort of idiot lets a girl walk around alone at night?” one of them said as the one with her hair tugged her back. She was squirming to try and get away. She was not going to answer them. She bit her lip until it bled, trying to decide where to move from here. She had no idea where she was anymore. Her mind tried to race back to where she’d been and where she’d walked but it all came up blanks. All she could do was prayer that if she screamed loud enough someone would hear her and come save her from this. She let out a blood curling scream before starting to scream Jake’s name over and over again until her throat was raw. Maybe he hadn’t gone far. Maybe he was still watching. Maybe he could save her. His name even when it brought her so much pain was the only one she felt could save her from this. Her faith plummeted as another one of them approached and backhanded her. “When we talk to you, you answer, “ he barked harshly before he plucked her purse completely off her and started to dump out the contents, pocketing anything of value.
The taste of blood and the agonizing pain of a broken nose told her that the punch had been hard. Her brain started to throb almost instantly as she struggled to even stay alert. Her green eyes moved in and out of focus. They were taking everything. Through her foggy vision she saw one of them rip off a keychain from her purse, beads flying everywhere. Liam’s little brother had made it for her months ago. A quiet plead of ‘no’ escaped her lips. She had so little fight left but she was still clawing and fighting to escape them and to escape this. Her fingers felt bloody, she was certain she’d broken a few nails. She was only still on her feet because of the hand jerking her hair. Her dropped her harshly against the ground again. Their words were starting to move out of focus. She could hear them arguing over what to do with her. She heard something familiar in the background, something she’d heard in movies but in that instant she couldn’t place it. But then she felt something hard in back. She didn’t have time to think before the trigger was pulled. Complete and utter shock filled her every form as she collapsed harder into the ground, her head making full impact with the ground. She gasped for breathe as their footsteps and voices moved away from her. She could see house lights turning on the distance before it became too hard to keep her eyes open. Everything felt wet. She felt like she was drowning. Her eyes closed shut unable to bear the pain anymore and soon she gave way to complete and utter unconsciousness.